More information about Hasbian
This guide is for anyone who wants to know more, before seeing the show.
This may be useful if you're neurodivergent, need content warnings, or don't want to be surprised.
To see Hasbian, check dates, and book for the next performance here.
Find out more about the creative team, read the programme here.
Symbols are used in this guide, to help you find notes about:
👁️ sights
🔊 sounds
🗣️ audience interaction
⚠️ content that may be upsetting
A photo of Beth against a bright pink backdrop. Beth is a white person with dark hair in a high ponytail wearing pink dungarees. Beth's holding open a blue book with a teardrop drawn on the front, and making a mock shocked expression - mouth open, one eyebrow raised. (Photo: Holly Revell)
About the show
Hasbian is a comedy theatre show, about growing up in Brighton in the late 1990s to early 2000s.
The show is 1 hour long.
The performer of Hasbian is Beth Watson.
Hasbian is a solo show, because Beth is the only person on stage, but was made with a big team of artists.
The show is a mix of Beth reading old diary entries and sharing memories.
The diary entries are real, and were written when Beth was 14-16 years old.
The show is aimed at LGBTQIA+ adults, with an age guideline of 16+ (due to talk about sex and alcohol ⚠️).
🗣️ Beth talks directly to the audience, and sometimes asks for volunteers to join in, from their seats.
You don’t have to join in if you don’t want to.
Accessibility
Hasbian has projected Creative Captioning for deaf people, and integrated Audio Description for blind or visually impaired people. Captioning and Audio Description may also be helpful for some neurodivergent people. This access is part of the show, not 'added on' (so you don't need a headset or tablet).
All performances are relaxed. This means that the rules are less formal than in some theatre spaces. Audience members can move around, make noise, fidget, tic, or stim during the show.
You can leave the room and come back in again, any time you want or need to.
We bring a few pairs of ear-defenders and seat cushions to every venue. If you want to use these, you can email hello@queerdiary.org.uk, or ask the venue staff when you arrive.
Hasbian is touring to lots of different places. Please check with your venue, for more information on physical accessibility.
⚠️ Content warnings
Hasbian is a fun comedy, but has some themes that could be upsetting. These are:
Bullying.
Homophobia and biphobia (including homophobic language).
Under-age sex and drinking.
There is one part of the show that talks about violence.
The violence talked about is someone being hit, in a homophobic attack. This part of the show is half an hour in, after Beth says “September 6th”, and lasts for about 1-2 minutes.
The 4 pairs of red shoes Beth wears in Hasbian: Plastic jelly sandals, trainers with sporty stripes, doc marten boots with red gems stuck on the toes, and sequin stilletto heels. (Photo: Holly Revell)
👁 What does Hasbian look like?
Read about the visuals in the show ⬇️
Beth is a white person with dark wavy hair, a bit longer than shoulder-length. Beth is 5 foot tall, with round pink cheeks, and an up-turned nose. Beth wears blue denim dungarees, a white shirt, blue socks, and reads from a blue book: this is Beth’s teenage diary.
Beth changes shoes 4 times in the show, and changes hairstyle 2 times. Beth's shoes and hairstyle are described at the beginning, and then again when the changes happen.
At the back of the stage are 3 white projection screens, made to look like big notebook pages. Captions appear a wide screen in the middle. On 2 taller screens either side, animated photo collages appear, representing key characters. When a new character appears, a short sound clip of their voice is played.
Sometimes background photos are used to show key settings, such as: a school playground, a pride march, a teenage bedroom.
There are 2 black wooden benches on stage, which Beth often sits or lies down on to read diary entries. Beth's 3 pairs of red shoes are also on the stage: trainers, doc marten boots, and sparkly stiletto heels
Lighting includes colours and spotlights. There are no flashing or strobing lights, and no moments of complete darkness.
🔊 What does Hasbian sound like?
Read about sounds and music in the show ⬇️
There are music and sound effects in the show. Most of these are not very loud. There is 1 moment where the audience are invited to cheer near the beginning, and 3 moments when music is louder, or starts suddenly. These 4 moments are marked in the story description below, as: 🔈 [NOISY].
Background sounds are used to introduce some of the places Beth is talking about. For example: a playground, a school changing room, a concert, a parade.
At the start of the show there is a recording of Beth speaking. In the recording, Beth describes what’s on stage, and talks about images and sounds used in the show. This recorded voiceover returns when Beth changes shoes.
When an important character appears, there is a sound and a picture to represent them. For example: when Beth talks about someone called “Lindsay”, we see a picture of the actor Lindsay Lohan, and hear her voice say the word “plastic”.
Beth is wearing a small microphone - this makes Beth’s voice sound different when Beth is reading from the diary.
The songs in Hasbian are on a playlist, you can find YouTube: listen here.
A scene from Hasbian. Beth stands on stage in denim dungaree shorts, a white shirt, and red Dr Marten boots. Behind Beth, there are 2 benches, and 3 projection screens. 2 tall screens are shaped like notebooks, with photos of people on them: actors Clea Duvall and Natasha Lyonne on one side, and the band Placebo on the other. Between the tall screens, a wider, higher screen has captions on it. Beth is reading from an open book, and pointing to Placebo. (Photo: Joseph Lynn, Projection Design: Edalia Day, Lighting Design: Rachel Sampley)
What happens in Hasbian?
Read if you want to know the whole story ⬇️
Note: This describes all the main plot points. DON'T read on if you want to avoid "spoilers"!
Introduction
🔊 While the audience take their seats, upbeat 90s pop music plays (S Club 7, Steps, Spice Girls)
🔊 The show starts with a 3 minute introduction.
Beth’s recorded voice talks about the show, and describes what’s on stage. This is Audio Description, for blind and visually impaired people who can’t see what’s happening - and anyone else who may find it helpful.
👁 During the introduction, pictures and text appear, as they are described, filling the projection screens like pages of a teenage scrapbook.
[NOISY] 🔊 After the voice recording, the audience are invited to clap, stamp and cheer.
👁 Beth runs on stage, finishes the audio description, drinks some water, and explains that the blue diary is real. It was written years ago, when Beth was a teenager.
🗣️ Beth asks a volunteer to read out the first page of the diary aloud. It is a warning not to read the diary. Beth asks: “Shall we keep reading?” - when the crowd say "yes", Beth decides to re-name the people in the diary, for privacy. This means that, instead of using their actual name, Beth will use the name of the actor who would play them in an imaginary teen movie.
Part One (2001)
A diary entry from 2001, about Beth's friend Lindsay.
🗣️ Beth asks the audience to guess which actor “Lindsay” is represented by.
When the audience guesses ("Lindsay Lohan"), Beth describes Lindsay, and talks about meeting her.
🔊 Lindsay’s sound (the word “Plastic”) is heard, when Beth says her name.
When Beth talks about going to a concert, music plays (‘Blame It On The Weatherman’ by B*Witched).
👁 Beth talks about being inspired by the character of Sebastian from the film Cruel Intentions, and Sebastian appears on screen (played by Ryan Philippe).
🔊 A line from the movie plays "you're a very attractive woman", and music (Placebo - Every You And Every Me)
🗣️ Beth asks the audience if they’ve seen Cruel Intentions, and if Sebastian is a good role model?
⚠️ Beth says Sebastian was like a “sexual predator”, because he wants to “sleep with as many girls as possible”. Beth remembers wanting to be like Sebastian, then shares a diary entry about having sex with Lindsay.
🔊 A sound like a tape rewinding, when Beth talks about going back to the 90s.
⚠️ Beth remembers trying to find friends at primary school, but being bullied.
👁 🔊 Beth changes shoes and hair: from jelly shoes and bunches, to trainers and a ponytail. Pop music plays (S Club 7 - Bring It All Back) as the recorded voice describes the change.
⚠️ Beth remembers a primary school bully saying “Are you gay? Are you a pedo?”. Beth tries to ignore it, and find happiness in TV and movies.
🔊 Beth talks about seeing a Pride march as an 11 year old. Music plays (Diana Ross - ‘I’m Coming Out’)
⚠️ Beth talks about standing up to bullies name-calling in high school.
Diary entries contain: an embarrassing moment, when Beth’s Mum walks in on Beth and Lindsay. A sad memory, of Lindsay’s Mum making homophobic comments.
👁 🔊 Beth talks about more school friends. They appear on screen as teen movie actors, with the sound of the actors’ voice. First: Alyson and Julia - represented by actors Alyson Hannigan and Julia Stiles (with sound effects that say “Bandcamp” and “Balls”).
🔊 A diary entry about the film ‘But I’m A Cheerleader’. The song ‘Chick Habit’ plays.
👁 2 more school friends are introduced, represented by Natasha Lyonne and Clea Duvall, described by Beth.
🔊 Their sounds say “Cosmo” and “Girls”
⚠️ A diary entry about a sleepover, having sex and drinking.
👁 Beth remembers wanting to be Sebastian from Cruel Intentions. Actor Ryan Philippe's head appears on screen, in blue dungarees, but he is not the right actor to play Beth.
Beth remembers being given a makeover, like Brittany Murphy's character in the film Clueless, so young Brittany Murphy is chosen as the actor to represent Beth on screen.
⚠️ Diary entries about Lindsay and Julia spending time together - Beth feels left out.
Beth talks the word “dykey”: first used by bullies, it becomes a positive word.
Beth talks about teachers in school, hinting that they may be gay.
⚠️🔊 [NOISY] After Beth talks about sex education, a sudden dramatic chord of music plays (like a cartoon "Dun dun DUN!"), and a photo of Margaret Thatcher appears on screen. Beth talks about Section 28: a law that banned teachers from "promoting homosexuality".
👁 Beth talks about the band Placebo who appear on screen, described by Beth.
🔊 Music plays (Placebo - Pure Morning)
A diary entry about spending time with Natasha and Clea.
👁 Beth changes shoes, from trainers to Doc Marten boots
🔊 the voiceover describes this, and music plays (Garbage - 'Androgyny').
A diary entry (August 21st) about going shopping, then kissing both Natasha and Clea at a sleepover.
⚠️⚠️ 30 minutes into the show: a diary entry (September 6th) about Lindsay being attacked in the street. Beth describes violence (a punch), and talks about homophobia in Brighton.
After this, there is a gap in the diary, so the next entry is from 2002, almost a year later.
Part Two (2002)
🗣️ Beth talks about meeting boy called Craig, a volunteer from the audience will play Craig by reading words from the screen 🔊 music plays (Destiny's Child - Independent Women)
🔊 [NOISY] After Beth says: "this isn’t a simple girl-meets-girl, comes out and lives gayly-ever-after story” - rock music starts playing (Placebo - Nancy Boy) for a diary entry about seeing the band live.
A diary entry about “boys”
👁 🔊 [NOISY] music plays (Britney Spears - Boys).
Beth introduces 2 new characters: Ashton, represented by Ashton Kutcher (with the word “Good-looking”), and Joseph, represented by Joseph Gordon-Levitt with (the word “Alternative”).
After a diary entry, Beth introduces Kate, played by Kate Moennig (with the words “Loose-cannon”), and tells a story about Kate being mistaken for a boy.
⚠️ A diary entry about Beth's friends being "fuckable".
Adult Beth is critical of younger Beth rating people's "fuckability".
Beth remembers a teacher trying to share some queer history, about the pink triangle symbol being reclaimed as a gay flag.
🔊 Music plays (Heather Small - 'Proud') as Beth talks about seeing a pink triangle at Pride, and remembers learning from its history, that change does not happen without people taking action.
Part Three (2003)
⚠️ A diary entry about New Years Eve 2003, which mentions drinking too much, and “humping” people’s legs.
A diary entry where Beth considers being straight, then another that quotes lines from the song: Tatu - All The Things She Said.
👁 Beth talks about having a crush on Ashton, and changes clothes and hair: from boots into high heels, from a ponytail to hair down.
🔊The voiceover describes Beth's shoe change, and music plays (Weezer - 'Pink Triangle')
🗣️ A diary entry about making up “a code to talk about sex in maths”. Beth invites the audience join in some hand movements, all together. The audience can join in by following Beth's instructions, using their hands to represent the numbers in the code (1 and 0), touching them together to show different types of sex.
A poem, about Ashton and Joseph - the audience applauds at the end 🔊
⚠️ Several diary entries, about getting drunk, kissing and having sex,
🔊 Music plays (Lady Marmalade) when Beth talks about a party where "everyone was getting off with everyone else".
⚠️ Beth talks about being attracted to both Ashton and Kate, and feeling pressure to choose between being gay or straight.
Ending
👁 Beth takes off the high heels, just wearing socks for the last part of the show.
⚠️ 🔊 Music plays (Dashboard Confessional - 'Screaming Infidelity) while Beth reads diary entries about cheating on Ashton, feeling guilty, and breaking up with him because of feeling like a lesbian. The diary entry shows internalised homophobia and biphobia: younger Beth wanted to be "normal" but felt like a "dirty window".
⚠️ Beth talks about being rejected by Kate, who calls Beth a "Hasbian" (a "has-been lesbian") and "not a real lesbian", then reads one last diary entry, about finishing school, and closes the blue book.
🔊 Music plays (Kylie Minogue - 'Spinning Around''), while Beth tells a story about going to Pride in 2003 and seeing a teacher there.
To finish the show, Beth talks about Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. When Dorothy was looking for "home", she was really seeking friendship and community. For Beth, a sense of home and community is found in connections with other Queer people, and through actions like sharing knowledge, speaking up, and supporting each other.
🔊 Beth bows, while music plays - All The Things She Said and the audience applauds.
After the bow, Beth says thank you to all the artists involved with the show, and highlights the parallels between how Section 28 impacted young people in the 90s-00s, and experiences of trans people today. Beth invites the audience to scan a QR code with more information on how to support trans young people in the UK.
Thanks to:
Arts Council England for funding, which supported us to improve accessibility for Hasbian.
Quiplash UK for working with us on developing integrated Audio Description.
Ben Glover & Mia Ward for working with us on developing Creative Captioning.
Everyone who's given us feedback on accessibility in this production.
If you have any feedback, please email:
or use our anonymous Hasbian feedback form here
